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Saturday, 12 May 2007 09:59 |
Hello *****es,
Queen here. I woke up this morning craving that old tugboat
breakfast favorite, the fried bologny and egg sandwich. Nothing says 'I
hope I dont live to see my kids first divorce'like white bread fried in
butter and sopped red with hot sauce at six in the morning. Back that
with eleven ounces of bacon and a quart of coffee- Damn! That will hold
you till you hit that Philly Cheese Fake Hot Pocket at eleven a.m.. Grab a
stolen juice box from that new guy's shit at the back of the fridge. You
know that guy, Mr. 'just happy to be here'that always brings exotic shit
to eat on the boat, cause he dont know its gonna attract the crows and
get ganked every time he goes to bed. You know the tea is better, but
you got to have that shiny mylar juice bag, cause you dont see shit like
that for weeks at a time. Anyway, thats your pleasure till dinner time. |
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Read more... [The 'Tugboat Diet']
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The Allmighty Safety Bonus |
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Wednesday, 09 May 2007 16:55 |
Thank God these white folks we work for love us so much! They have over the years developed a sure fire way to reduce maritime crew accidents, while helping put a little green in our pockets. The 'safety bonus'seems to be the most ingenius method of crowd control since the drug test. Heres how it is REPORTED to work: Joe Deckhand knows that if he is very careful not to slip, trip, or otherwise bust his ass, his name remains in a pot of cash to be divided among the other Mr. Safeties at the end of each quarter. Everyone stays safe, everyone gets paid. Now heres how it REALLY works. Joe Deckhand busts his ass on the regular like anybody who works on a boat of any kind. However, he knows that if he REPORTS his accident, he first of all scores a pop test for his entire crew. Then, his name goes into a list of shipmates sheduled to get the shit beat out of them for costing
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Read more... [The Allmighty Safety Bonus]
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