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The 'Tugboat Diet' PDF Print E-mail
Saturday, 12 May 2007 09:59

   Hello *****es,

              Queen here. I woke up this morning craving that old tugboat
  breakfast favorite, the fried bologny and egg sandwich. Nothing says 'I
  hope I dont live to see my kids first divorce'like white bread fried in
  butter and sopped red with hot sauce at six in the morning. Back that
  with eleven ounces of bacon and a quart of coffee- Damn! That will hold
  you till you hit that Philly Cheese Fake Hot Pocket at eleven a.m.. Grab a
  stolen juice box from that new guy's shit at the back of the fridge. You
  know that guy, Mr. 'just happy to be here'that always brings exotic shit
  to eat on the boat, cause he dont know its gonna attract the crows and 
  get ganked every time he goes to bed. You know the tea is better, but
  you got to have that shiny mylar juice bag, cause you dont see shit like
  that for weeks at a time. Anyway, thats your pleasure till dinner time.  
Then, Its time to bust your Wolfgang Puck sophisticated cuisine nut. You maybe elected to cook for your crew. This is where you learn that you CAN
microwave tater tots, the pigs-to-blankets equation, and how to shake and bake a Nascar pack of hotdogs. If you choose to boil those dogs (which is a mistake if you want the shake and bake to stick, they have to be skinned back and rolled in butter) dont pour that red tinted oily water down the sink! If you got some white bread, thats hotdog gravy baby!! But your on a boat, and you know this. The best part is when new guy says he came on board because 'he wanted to get away from the house and get back in shape'. Round is a shape, baby.
                                       
                                                        Queen-
                                
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