| The Allmighty Safety Bonus |
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| Wednesday, 09 May 2007 16:55 | |||
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Thank God these white folks we work for love us so much! They have over the years developed a sure fire way to reduce maritime crew accidents, while helping put a little green in our pockets. The 'safety bonus'seems to be the most ingenius method of crowd control since the drug test. Heres how it is REPORTED to work: Joe Deckhand knows that if he is very careful not to slip, trip, or otherwise bust his ass, his name remains in a pot of cash to be divided among the other Mr. Safeties at the end of each quarter. Everyone stays safe, everyone gets paid. Now heres how it REALLY works. Joe Deckhand busts his ass on the regular like anybody who works on a boat of any kind. However, he knows that if he REPORTS his accident, he first of all scores a pop test for his entire crew. Then, his name goes into a list of shipmates sheduled to get the shit beat out of them for costing his crew their stripper money. Now, Billy Boatmate doesnt have Darlene Boatmates crank money. No way to make the girlfriends rent, or cash to get your babysitters toes did. The entire crew (whats left after the drug test) is pissed at you, and you can BET that you will not fall again- unless your pushed. Theres one or two of you out there right now with ductape bandages, or stealing cream out of the boats first aid box to rub on that infected nasty ass foot of yours. Your crew thanks you, your company thanks you, and most of all, the insurance company thanks you. Keep them costs down for these white folks, golf aint free you know. Queen-
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